That is what Maxson came and told me this morning. After what was probably the worst night of our (Rick and I) life so far. That was the sweetest thing ever for Maxson to say. And I really couldn't be sad after that. Last night we are pretty sure we lost our precious little baby. And not lost in that this little one will always be our little baby and we know and trust God is taking care of our baby now. But lost in the sense that we will not be able to hold and kiss our little one here in this world. It is so hard to explain how we feel, but I don't want to hide in shame or have to deal with the sadness by myself or with in ourselves. I want you to know that we are still filled with the Lord's joy and peace, which has been really strange experience for me. Not ever having been through anything like this until now I never understood how you could find joy in all situations and now I do. Jesus is the source of our joy and nothing can take that away. Yes, there is such a deep sadness in my heart that I will always have until we are all in Heaven, but I know that God is now taking care of our precious blessing and that brings me the joy that is beyond this world's understanding. We also have the two most wonderful blessing in our lives, our sweet boys and so many other blessings (family and friends). Both Maxson and Aiden today have been such joy to us. It is crazy, but Maxson seems to know when I need a smile and does something totally outrageous. For example making funny faces that he has never done before and I have no idea where he got it, but I know that God is using him and Aiden to give us His source of joy. So for now we are so thankful for our family and all of your prayers and love.
Love Steph
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Praying
yes it's crazy how you can be so sad and still joyful at the same time. I am thinking about and loving you all, Lisa
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